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The best ways to pull yourself out of maternity depression

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Many young mothers prefer to find the baby a nanny, give to the kindergarten or to the care of grandparents, in order to quickly go to work. Indeed, the full three years of leave, which are provided to a woman to care for a child, are far from being used. But it’s not always the desire to start working faster due to material or other objective reasons.

Most often, young mothers want to change the situation and bring something new into their lives. Over time, they simply get tired of (it seems) endless diapers, vestments, diapers and walks. Caring for a child for some women turns into lingering stress that destroys relationships and lifelong. So how to cope with depression on maternity leave?

Family psychologist comment

Depression in the mother’s decree is not a myth, but a reality. In different measure, up to 80% of women face apathy, dissatisfaction with themselves or life in general, irritability, dissatisfaction and other unpleasant emotional phenomena. All this manifests itself in different ways.

Some young mothers easily experience emotional shocks after giving birth. And one cannot do without changes in the psyche, because the birth of a new family member is not only immense joy, but also global changes, and a huge responsibility. Other women begin to delve into themselves, look for other reasons for sadness and eventually become isolated.

Depression in the decree is a phenomenon not only due to emotional, but also physical factors. In the first 24-48 hours after birth, the level of estrogen and progesterone in the body drops sharply to a level lower than before conception. As a result, depression may develop, which is due to the same as PMS.

Sometimes the stability of the emotional state is undermined due to problems with the thyroid gland or lack of vitamin B. In the postpartum period, as a result of lack of sleep and loss of strength, there may be a tendency to exaggerate the problem. Some women do fall into despair.

It is important to remember that if the postpartum depression is not detected and treated in time, it can turn into a chronic problem and even prevent the mother from becoming attached to the child. In this regard, some mothers may not pay attention to the crumbs or even raise a hand to her when they lose their temper. All this adversely affects the usefulness and timeliness of the physical and emotional development of the child.

Depression in sociable women

Especially emotional and sensitive women are by their nature usually open and sociable. Such mothers begin to feel anxiety and apathy if they cannot fully build emotional relationships with people. Forced isolation and lack of intercourse in the decree cause such women depression. The emotional range of sociable women is too large to confine to her husband and small child, and because of the restrictions appear fears, tearfulness, anxiety, feelings of dissatisfaction with themselves, panic attacks.

How to deal with depression in the decree of active extroverts? Psychologists recommend women with such a temperament to decorate the house and change the interior in order to quickly improve their condition. You can try yourself in photography or painting. Communication and new acquaintances with the same moms today are available via the Internet. Tips that can only close a woman on loneliness and herself (for example, meditation) are categorically inappropriate.

A woman can maximize her activities and sociability in the field of volunteer work, but with a child in her arms it is difficult. Although it is in such areas the emotional range of the young mother will be fully involved in empathy and sympathy. You can find a community that is engaged in such activities, and to take all possible part. For example, on a city forum for moms, you can organize a collection of things for a local orphanage or an orphanage.

If tortured routine and monotony

For active and purposeful women, careerists who are able to achieve their goals, an integral part of a full life is novelty. Often such personalities can be seen in sports or business, among them there are technologists and engineers. Their interests are career, competitiveness and competition, technical innovations.

The life of a young mother is changing dramatically with the departure on maternity leave. But the feeling of apathy, sadness, and anxiety that occurs from time to time cannot be called depression. Negative emotional states are the result of dissatisfaction and desire for novelty. Such active and active women do not tolerate the routine.

How to cope with depression in the decree? To improve your condition, you can make a rearrangement in the house, change the appearance, expand the "geography" of walking with the baby (it is more convenient to use slings or kangaroos, rather than classic strollers), actively go in for sports at home or start visiting the gym.

Tips to do knitting or embroidery, as well as other types of needlework, are widespread. But such advice is not for those who are tired of monotony. Such studies will only aggravate depression among the career woman who is forced to stay at home with the child (even if it’s beloved).

If there is depression in the decree, what to do? Women who are tired of monotony are often advised to start a small Internet business or register as an entrepreneur. Even from home you can work. This is useful both for the financial situation of the family and for the normal emotional state of the mother, who has been busy all her life before the birth of the baby.

Depression in those who do not feel like mom

A special condition after childbirth in women who feel equal to a man. In ancient times, the weaker sex with such a temperament of character was accompanied by men in the war and in the hunt. Today, these women may have difficulty with conception and independent childbirth, and when going on maternity leave they face psychological difficulties. Such a mother defines depression for herself, because she does not form the notorious maternal instinct.

All this does not mean that it will not be possible to safely raise and raise a child. It may seem strange, but it is women with such a temperament that realize themselves well in the profession of an educator. Relations with your own child are not built on the basis of maternal instinct, but on a special emotional connection. This becomes possible when the baby begins to recognize the mother and react to it.

A woman with such a temperament needs to communicate, so you shouldn’t close at all on your family and household. Successful ways of social realization - feasible help to volunteer centers, active participation in the lives of relatives. For most women, realization in the role of mother and wife is primary, but for the types listed here, it is social realization that is necessary.

Depression in Seekers of Life

There are types of women whose natural needs are concentration and solitude. Becoming a mother, they with sadness and apathy begin to look for the answer to the question: “Is the real meaning in the continuation of the race really? When the child grows up, the mother will be needed only to pay for food and continue to care for him? ”The inability to be alone with the depressive state reinforces the depressive state. More often, it is women with such a temperament who need the qualified help of a psychologist.

Why apathy and dissatisfaction with life

Depression in the decree appears due to a combination of reasons. Both physical and emotional aspects matter. In the first months after the birth of the baby, fatigue and constant lack of sleep are most pronounced. Hence, alienation, apathy and irritability. In this case (if there are no other problems, and the reason, most likely, it is in fatigue), you need to spend more time on rest and realize that within a month and a half everything will start to change.

In addition, young mothers are forced almost all the time to be in a confined space. Lack of diversity causes irritability, tearfulness, discontent with life and other problems. Such reasons may be caused by depression on maternity leave. Does the child have a year or a little more, but no more strength? It’s just routine fatigue.

Here it is important to expand the “horizons”: with a child (even a small one), you can go on a visit, explore new walking routes and go shopping. For the convenience of movement (especially if you do not have your own car) it is better to purchase a convenient sling or kangaroo. Today there are models that are suitable even for newborns.

After childbirth, the figure of a woman changes noticeably. Pounds gained during pregnancy do not go to discharge. Changes are noticeable not only to the youngest mother, but also to her husband. Hence the irritability and lack of attention from the second half. But there is a way out. It is necessary to establish food and exercise (at least at home). During pregnancy, you also need to try not to gain extra pounds in order to quickly return to normal after childbirth.

May be pronounced in primiparous "bad mother's syndrome." It seems that everything falls out of the hands, the child all the time is missing something, there is a fear of not having time or to lose sight of it, to do everything wrong. In this case, you need to find a more experienced girlfriend, to whom you can ask for advice. You can listen to your mother or another woman who has a similar experience. Support and advice will help to cope with the new role painlessly for the emotional state.

Symptoms of depression and burnout

Depression in a woman on maternity leave is burnout, irritability and nervousness, fears and dissatisfaction with life. This is characteristic of all professionals working in the social sphere and not only. And mother is quite a profession. You can pay attention to the following symptoms of emotional burnout and depression on maternity leave: reduced emotional background, drowsiness, weakness, increased nervousness and irritability, indifference to what is happening around and apathy, feeling like a bad mother, constant lack of time. To this is often added chronic fatigue syndrome and possible physical health problems.

How to get rid of depression in the decree

What can you do on maternity leave to get away from disturbing thoughts? As a rule, in most cases it is enough for young mothers to find something to do to their liking in order to normalize the emotional state. If the nature of the work activity allows, you can take part of the work at home. It turns out that the occupation is, and income.

You might think what you like to do. This can be embroidery or knitting and other women's needlework, maintaining your own blog or even designing models. But you need to engage in a hobby, without prejudice to communication with loved ones and the daily routine of the baby.

How to get out of depression? In the decree, you can raise the level of their knowledge. This is suitable for purposeful women and careerists, for whom all life is a rivalry. You can sign up for a short course of manicure or visage, learn how to build up your nails, read special literature or learn languages.

Rest is necessary in any case

How not to get depressed on maternity leave? Do not forget about the rest. It is desirable for a young mother to set aside time for herself to sleep. This is a great vacation for the body. At bedtime, you can take a relaxing bath, in which it is recommended to add healing salts and flavored foam. Good mood improves the tone of the body, and exercise will help to quickly regain shape after childbirth.

Reading books and magazines about motherhood or professional activity is also useful. You can pay attention to fiction, which will help to plunge into the fictional world. Communication with acquaintances, friends and relatives is necessary. In the first days after being discharged from the maternity hospital, it will not be before that, but then communication is simply necessary.

Walking and fun without children

A prerequisite - walks without children. We must try to get out of the house at least two hours a week. This is not at all a distance from your own child, but a rational attitude to your psyche. Time spent without a baby should be as different as possible from everyday life. You can meet with girlfriends, go on a date with your husband or visit a beauty salon.

General recommendations for young mothers

How to get rid of depression in the decree? Everything should be tried to be positive. Even everyday personal care, for the baby and household chores can be made more interesting. It is enough to purchase flavored bath foam, bright sponges for home care, beautiful children's clothes and generally prefer something unusual. When buying clothes, it is also better to prefer bright colors, because psychologists have long proved their ability to positively influence mood.

It is worth learning to accept any help. It is necessary to forget the disagreements and old grievances, give others the opportunity to participate in the care of the child and reject the desire to be independent in everything. The released minutes do not need to rush to fill with everyday hassle - this is a time to relax, you can pamper yourself with some sweetness (but only in moderation) or take a bath.

Drug correction methods

If signs of depression appear on the decree, what to do? If the condition is unstable, it is better to contact a specialist. For severe problems, sedatives or antidepressants are prescribed. The treatment is selected individually. The remedies depend on the condition of the woman, the presence of associated symptoms, the feeding regimen (breast or artificial).

How a husband can help: advice to a partner

Depression on maternity leave is not a whim or whim, but quite real problems. That is why a partner should pay attention to the condition of his wife. It is better to take over some of the household chores, you should try to make compliments to your wife more often and not insist on sex. If a woman is morally exhausted, then sex for her will only worsen the situation. It is necessary to kindly help his wife if she does not get something. You can try to “stir up” your spouse with pleasant impressions: a gift or a good time.

Natalia Andrushko

Psychologist, Ecophacilitator, Supervisor Mediator. Specialist from the website b17.ru

Well, IMHO, this is a completely natural state for the decree, especially since you have two children! Do not demand the impossible from yourself.
They help me: vitamins, sports, work (albeit episodic, but what a joy!), Shopping, soothing, delicious food, makeup, beautiful clothes.

Yes, more small joys for yourself as a motivation. I do not want to get up in the morning, think up a pleasant thing for the morning, for example, try new shadows, well, I don’t know, some pleasant nonsense.)) I don’t want to go for a walk - go to the cafe, eat a cake , go to the store, try on the gear (while the child is sleeping in the stroller).

Yes, more small joys for yourself as a motivation. I do not want to get up in the morning, think up a pleasant thing for the morning, for example, try new shadows, well, I don’t know, some pleasant nonsense.)) I don’t want to go for a walk - go to the cafe, eat a cake , go to the store, try on the gear (while the child is sleeping in the stroller).

How old are the children?

How old are the children?

children 10 years and 1 year

Related topics

Yes, more small joys for yourself as a motivation. I do not want to get up in the morning, think up a pleasant thing for the morning, for example, try new shadows, well, I don’t know, some pleasant nonsense.)) , go to the store, try on the gear (while the child is sleeping in the stroller).

children 10 years and 1 year

the thing is that morning I start with homework, laundry, cooking, garden. My husband does not help me, he says that he works.

Itself driven into some kind of framework, and that's depression. Do not want to cook - do not cook one day, rest, let the husband cook, do not break. My husband also works, but he understands that I get tired too, so he can help me with cooking, cleaning, etc. or buy dinner on the way home. By the way, I also work at home on maternity leave.

and if the child is naughty and does not sleep in a wheelchair, if you don’t swing it? if, when you are awake, you are not sitting in a wheelchair? you apparently had a calm child, since you went to cafes and shopping

No, just very active. In the cafe it is possible to take food from year to year. And in the store, the stroller is not worth it, but it goes, it fits perfectly. Of course, you can’t try on a lot of clothes, but you can catch one or two.

the thing is that morning I start with homework, laundry, cooking, garden. My husband does not help me, he says that he works.

for someone like ... I am not sitting in a wheelchair, for sling back sick

Сделайте поверхностную уборку вечером, чтобы утром не было бардака в доме, от которого неудобно бывает сидеть ничего не делая. И вместо уборки займитесь чем-нибудь приятным по-утрам. У каждого свои "приятности". Одним укладки, макияжи, другим утренние программы смотреть, третьим медленно завтракать. Для маленького ребенка найдите занятие на утро. Игрушки, с которыми он не играл вечером, например. Коробка со всякими предметами, которые можно перебирать. Пусть играет с кастрюлями, поварешками.
The older child probably goes to school? If the older girl, then you can try her "hire" as a nanny. My sister did this. She paid her daughter 100 rubles for a couple of hours looking after the little one. Thus, her daughter saved money for a smartphone, she was 11-12 years old :) And if the older one is a boy, then it is more difficult. Boys rarely want to look after children, but sometimes it happens. My brother (my mother says) looked at me very well, I even cooked porridge when he was 10 years old.
In general, you need to find such an occupation, where you will not have children. Work, sport, girlfriend.
You can find friends with children.

I will now explain approximately so that you understand our way of life. we live in a Cossack village, parents are Cossacks, so I have to get up early, I cook first and second every day, pies, cakes, habits, I will not change them. Dumplings, dumplings from the store do not recognize, in general, I stand only for half a day at the stove, I wash 4 times a day, then I need to smooth it all over, I plant the garden myself. I clean and dig myself, love so that there is always order. next year, I probably can not stand it, everything and everything is taken for granted

by the way, we don’t have any cafes by order of the head of administration

I will now explain approximately so that you understand our way of life. we live in a Cossack village, parents are Cossacks, so I have to get up early, I cook first and second every day, pies, cakes, habits, I will not change them. Dumplings, dumplings from the store do not recognize, in general, I stand only for half a day at the stove, I wash 4 times a day, then I need to smooth it all over, I plant the garden myself. I clean and dig myself, love so that there is always order. next year, I probably can not stand it, everything and everything is taken for granted

I will now explain approximately so that you understand our way of life. we live in a Cossack village, parents are Cossacks, so I have to get up early, I cook first and second every day, pies, cakes, habits, I will not change them. Dumplings, dumplings from the store do not recognize, in general, I stand only for half a day at the stove, I wash 4 times a day, then I need to smooth it all over, I plant the garden myself. I clean and dig myself, love so that there is always order. next year, I probably can not stand it, everything and everything is taken for granted

Who watches the baby while you are half a day at the stove?

The author, from the household any howling. Not everyone likes to be at home and oven-wash-clean-focus to engage.
Job. That's where the brain is. Comes back to normal. I don’t know if you will be able to go to work, but this is really the answer.
Never at work, even with a lot of business trips (I hadn’t even unpacked my suitcase for months, since there was no point) I didn’t get tired like on maternity leave

I have this when the children start to get sick, the older one is tired to heal, then one thing, then the other. When they recover, the mood becomes super. In the evening you can have a little shampoo with your husband to drink, relax, today is Friday.

The author, from the household any howling. Not everyone likes to be at home and oven-wash-clean-focus to engage.
Job. That's where the brain is. Comes back to normal. I don’t know if you will be able to go to work, but this is really the answer.
Never at work, even with a lot of business trips (I hadn’t even unpacked my suitcase for months, since there was no point) I didn’t get tired like on maternity leave

I would have pretended to be sick. I would go to bed and let the family have a headache, what to do with children and what to eat. And I would rest.

I would have pretended to be sick. I would go to bed and let the family have a headache, what to do with children and what to eat. And I would rest.

It feels like you have no voice at all. Have you been sold into slavery? I approximately understand the way of the villages, but the women are strong there, don’t put your finger in your mouth, what is wrong with you? Want to change your life, start with yourself. Why wash 4 times? Why bake dumplings and pies, proper nutrition will be better for both the family and for you.

Once there are parents, it means they can look after the children. You need to find work and work. There will be a rest. I also had a time when my son was from 0 to 4 years old, when I went to work as if it were a holiday. I rested at work. And at home it was very hard.
If work is not an option. Then you will have to somehow find time for yourself.

I had it, even with one child. Was treated by a psychotherapist for more than 5 years. It all depends on the severity of the case. Me and going to work did not help. And then everything is fine, it was already long ago, now I don’t even understand why it happened to me, it seems - some kind of nonsense, but then I really didn’t want to live, it’s very difficult to go with such a state.

The author, from the household any howling. Not everyone likes to be at home and oven-wash-clean-focus to engage.
Job. That's where the brain is. Comes back to normal. I don’t know if you will be able to go to work, but this is really the answer.
Never at work, even with a lot of business trips (I hadn’t even unpacked my suitcase for months, since there was no point) I didn’t get tired like on maternity leave

The author, from the household any howling. Not everyone likes to be at home and oven-wash-clean-focus to engage.
Job. That's where the brain is. Comes back to normal. I don’t know if you will be able to go to work, but this is really the answer.
Never at work, even with a lot of business trips (I hadn’t even unpacked my suitcase for months, since there was no point) I didn’t get tired like on maternity leave

Who would not say, but here everything is crazy to the point! You just need to remember about your dreams, goals and go to them systematically, and of course the motivation is still in the bargain and everything will be fine!

My girlfriend after the decree went to work, it did not become easier. It got worse. All duties are the same, time for household chores is less, also work. My husband does not help either. Author, you're just tired, and even a stupid feeling that everyone should have a big to-do list. She herself felt like 11 months old. Then a head-turn took place, so why should I dodge and strain so much? I am also a man and I want to rest. She lay down for 2 days and lay there, she was still just sick, her husband followed the children, he was just on vacation. Coped.

I do not understand anything. you have family, children, husband. you are a happy woman, what depression can be ?? Think again, lady.

Come out to work, it's banal boredom.

Well, you give here. go to work What kind of work, when the child has no one to leave? Here, probably, only vitamins will help and wait, when the child grows up and it becomes easier. Now it is better to creep up the older one at least with cleaning and cooking or, indeed, with a child. Well, if the move becomes bad, then lie down for a couple of days. I generally sit on a sedative, there is a collection with valerian and other herbs, a course of 3 weeks. Helps a lot. You do everything right on autopilot. Author, are you still alive there?))

I do not understand anything. you have family, children, husband. you are a happy woman, what depression can be ?? Think again, lady.

The author, you do not respect yourself, why so be killed, bake them pies, pies, and so on. they eat like elephants ?? Even if you live in their territory, you and your husband have a family! And that means that you need to cook for you 2x and the child, for you personally. I think this baking is not necessary. His parents should let them bake themselves for health! Separate duties, you do it, they do it. You never know what customs they have there, you have a child who needs to practice, develop. And in general, you should spend as little time in the kitchen as possible. You also drag on the garden. Otpad.Than Parents of the husband then Busy incomprehensible.

You read the author's 16th answer. If I cooked soups every day I baked pies for my husband and parents and washed dishes a hundred times a day, I would go crazy too, and there are two children plus a vegetable garden. Unreasonable depression is when the family is the mother the father and the child, for a couple of hours I managed to cook, no daily pies and homemade ravioli and washed the floor once a week, this is not depressing, and the author doesn’t respect her family, they don’t respect her, and she bends under them, bakes pies and dumplings sculpts daily and digs a garden, then the dishes for the car Van barn cleaning the floor of the day, instead of the children for a walk, read books, etc. Decree leave for child care, and the author cares for parents and husband, and the children themselves are busy with something there, this is not the author’s maternity leave, but some kind of nonsense.

38. Not a Child, but children, sorry.

I live with my husband for 2 years, we lived very well. Appeared daughter were very happy. In the decree of only 8 months I sit. And such a feeling life is over! every day I want to cry. Husband loves He always kisses us, loves us, lives with his daughter in his free time, loves her very much. And all is not right for me. I find fault with him constantly. I demand attention to myself. And he throws up his hands. He always speaks to me, whenever possible. And I do not recognize myself. Always a positive person. And now there is a feeling that we cannot understand each other. Yes, I myself can not understand. Hands dropped. I do not know what to do. such a feeling all good is over and never will be. It becomes terrible.

It turns out a lot like me. In the decree with the second 1 year. My daughter is 10 years old. I'm tired, I don't know why. I want to cry. I'm not breaking through the house. Rest when the little one sleeps. But the soul still hurts, scary for some reason. Hands down. This is a depression. I understand that I have no reason to give up. But depression is a disease. It must be treated. Optional medications. I know when it will be easier to go to a small one. With my daughter it was easier. I studied in absentia and from time to time went to the session - was distracted from home. At home sometimes wrote essays, coursework. Mom lived with us and my daughter was supervised and mom worked with her and walked. And now I do not need to learn. Before going to work far away. And mom comes only in the evening and then for a couple of hours. My daughter will help her with her lessons if I haven't had time. I would like her to live with us. I want more communication and someone's presence more often. But until the evening I’m alone with the little one, afternoon or late afternoon, because of the circles, the elder comes from school, well, a little more cheerful. And I'm really looking forward to when a husband or mother comes. I then change the field of activity. I suggest to eat and go to the kitchen to warm up, and my husband or mother pays a little attention. Only so distracted. Well, sometimes mom will sit, we will go to the store or on the river. Of course there is help. But the state is still bad, there is no optimism. I used to see the future, now I'm scared, and what's there. We must live today, today everything is fine. I am doing my best. Feeling like a child I want to cry to my mother (((despite the fact that I am 34 years old and I myself am a mother of 2 children.

I understand the author. At the moment I am on the decree myself. A child is 1 year and 4 months old. Moral and physical fatigue. There is no help at all from anyone. I want to fall asleep and wake up in a few years.

I'm so sorry for the author! Only I, when I gave birth to my second child, learned to snap. And no one will make me do super powers anymore. We also have a garden. And I plowed this summer (I gave birth to May) alone. Then she sent a garden and a husband. But still hard. I'm not used to sitting without my money. It has happened here that I earn myself and pay for a communal flat. The husband is building something, the house furnishes, feeds. And now also. Dress- pamper me no one. I want to work. I thought first about the third child, now I understand, no. Although the baby was born just with a picture. Leave it to the grandmothers do not want to, but have to.

I'm so sorry for the author! Only I, when I gave birth to my second child, learned to snap. And no one will make me do super powers anymore. We also have a garden. And I plowed this summer (I gave birth to May) alone. Then she sent a garden and a husband. But still hard. I'm not used to sitting without my money. It has happened here that I earn myself and pay for a communal flat. The husband is building something, the house furnishes, feeds. And now also. Dress- pamper me no one. I want to work. I thought first about the third child, now I understand, no. Although the baby was born just with a picture. Leave it to the grandmothers do not want to, but have to.

I'm so sorry for the author! Only I, when I gave birth to my second child, learned to snap. And no one will make me do super powers anymore. We also have a garden. And I plowed this summer (I gave birth to May) alone. Then she sent a garden and a husband. But still hard. I'm not used to sitting without my money. It has happened here that I earn myself and pay for a communal flat. The husband is building something, the house furnishes, feeds. And now also. Dress- pamper me no one. I want to work. I thought first about the third child, now I understand, no. Although the baby was born just with a picture. Leave it to the grandmothers do not want to, but have to.

I'm so sorry for the author! Only I, when I gave birth to my second child, learned to snap. And no one will make me do super powers anymore. We also have a garden. And I plowed this summer (I gave birth to May) alone. Then she sent a garden and a husband. But still hard. I'm not used to sitting without my money. It has happened here that I earn myself and pay for a communal flat. The husband is building something, the house furnishes, feeds. And now also. Dress- pamper me no one. I want to work. I thought first about the third child, now I understand, no. Although the baby was born just with a picture. Leave it to the grandmothers do not want to, but have to.


Yes, more small joys for yourself as a motivation. I do not want to get up in the morning, think up a pleasant thing for the morning, for example, try new shadows, well, I don’t know, some pleasant nonsense.)) I do not want to go for a walk - go to a cafe, eat a cake (and even better - a piece of meat) , go to the store, try on the gear (while the child is sleeping in the stroller).


Well, IMHO, this is a completely natural state for the decree, especially since you have two children! Do not demand the impossible from yourself.
They help me: vitamins, sports, work (albeit episodic, but what a joy!), Shopping, soothing, delicious food, makeup, beautiful clothes.

I would have pretended to be sick. I would go to bed and let the family have a headache, what to do with children and what to eat. And I would rest.

You need to switch explicitly, it’s difficult, but you’ll get it real. I went through both anti-depressants and psychologists. And only after I started earning money on maternity leave, and the money was a huge incentive, I managed to switch my brains. 9037271792 Vika

Where does the despondency come from ↑

  1. Fatigue. Most clearly, it is expressed in the first months after the birth of the baby. From here, irritability, apathy, alienation appear. Here you need to realize that all this is temporary, and literally in a month and a half, when the baby grows up, everything will start to change.
  2. Lack of variety. A young mother is forced to constantly be in a confined space. In order to eliminate this problem, you need to expand your vision: with a child you can also go on a visit, walk along different routes, do shopping, etc.
  3. Dissatisfaction with the appearance. After childbirth, the figure of a woman varies greatly. And not only she herself notices this, but also her husband. Hence the lack of attention and irritability. Conclusion: you need to urgently establish power and be sure to play sports.
  4. Bad mother syndrome. It is pronounced in women who have given birth to their first child. It seems to them that they are unable to cope with anything, know nothing and are doing everything wrong. In such cases, you need to listen more to adults, and all words should not be perceived as a desire to teach, but as tips to make it easier for you.

Find a favorite thing

What you can do while on maternity leave:

  • Work at home. If you are permitted by the nature of your work activity, then take part of the work at home. And you will be busy and get money.
  • Hobby. Think about what you like to do: perhaps it is embroidery, mini-presentation mounting, sewing, own blogging, etc. The only thing that must be taken into account is a feature of your daily routine and the behavior of the child. Do you have enough time and patience to do your favorite thing, without prejudice to the attention of loved ones?
  • Self development. You can increase the level of your knowledge through literature, the Internet, as well as with the help of special courses (manicure, nail extension, car driving, etc.).

How to survive a divorce from his wife, if you still love? Read on.

Do not forget about your vacation

Here are some ways you can help yourself get out of depression on maternity leave:

  1. Daytime sleep. When you put your baby to sleep, lie down yourself, because this is a great rest for the body.
  2. Relaxing bath before bed. While doing the evening affairs, turn on the water so that the bath is full - then you don’t have to waste time. It is recommended to add medicinal salts and flavored foam.
  3. Sports activities. It seems to you that this is not a rest? Are you tired, but do you need to do the exercises? In vain. After all, nothing improves the mood and tone of the body like sports. Of course, not immediately, but after regular workouts. No wonder they say: "In motion - life!". Plus, everything quickly manages to return the figure to normal after giving birth.
  4. Reading books and magazines. In this way, you can learn something new or dive into another fictional world.
  5. Communication with dear people. Often, in the process of doing all things, mothers simply never have time to talk with relatives or answer calls, so you need to find some time for this. It is better to do this when you are not busy or annoyed.

Walking without children

This is a prerequisite. Each mommy is simply obliged to get out of the house at least 2 hours a week. This is not a whim, not an identification from a child, but a simple prudent attitude towards oneself and one's psyche.

Important!
Постарайтесь, чтобы это время, проведенное без ребенка, максимум отличалось от ваших будней. If you look at some kind of program at home on the couch, there will be no sense from such a rest. But if you go to meet with girlfriends, arrange a romantic date with your husband, have fun with a trip, going to the cinema, bowling, etc. - all this will significantly affect your mood as a whole.

Search for like-minded people

A great option for this is the women's forum. By registering on the selected site, you can create your own blogs, diaries, notes, as well as comment on other people's observations, read interesting and useful information.

The biggest advantage here is that you choose the topic of interest to which you want to communicate.

If you do not have time to sit at the computer, expand your circle of acquaintances. Mommy is the easiest to do it on the playground. So you can not only find a good companion for a walk, but also, perhaps, make a good friend.

Holiday around

  • Learn to live positively. Even the most common way to do everyday things is more interesting for you: peer into the assortment more carefully, smell smells, give preference to something unusual. So even buying detergents will be more fun for you.
  • Look at some online store for interesting gizmos. for home improvement. This can be a variety of shelves for shoes, hangers, kitchenware, flower pots, etc. After all, you have the opportunity to make the world around you more unusual.
  • When buying clothes for yourself and your family Begin to give preference to bright things. Psychologists have long proved their ability to positively influence mood.

Take any help

It doesn't matter why you refuse help - the desire to be self-reliant, long-standing resentment, disagreements in education, etc. You must understand that this reason is in the list of those that were the result of your depression. In the end, it's for your own good.

A person who meets you, offering help, knows what he is doing, which means that it is not a burden to him - he wants you to feel better. So why offend him with his refusals?

What to do husband ↑

  1. Be interested in the health and condition of the wife. Perhaps, sometimes she is just too shy to tell you that she is worried, or simply does not want to be a burden.
  2. Take some of the household chores.. She must feel your care.
  3. Give her compliments. Remember that women love the ears.
  4. Do not insist on sex. Since she is now hard morally, your requirements will only worsen the situation. Besides the fact that she will fall into even greater depression, your relationship as a whole will gradually begin to crumble.
  5. Try to “stir up” her pleasant impressions.. These can be gifts or a good time.
  6. Don't tell her that she's not doing something. Just kindly help her.

What are the conditions of a divorce with children? Read on.

On how to prevent a divorce due to mother in law, read the article.

Psychologist tips ↑

  1. Involve husband in child rearing to the maximum. Talk to your husband frankly, let me know that it’s hard for you to cope with some responsibilities. The conversation should be conducted exclusively in a positive way - without scandals, shouts and reproaches. Use tricks: tell me that you want your child to be very similar to him, and joint games and all kinds of communication with the child can contribute to this. But be prudent: if your spouse gets up early in the morning to work, do not ask him to get up all night so that he calms the child.
  2. Read development books and parenting. There is written a lot of useful information. Of these, not only a young mother, but also an adult woman who has successfully raised several children learns something new. Often there are examples of situations from life. Such techniques make it possible to more easily reach certain conclusions. Moreover, after reading this literature, many mothers will realize that the nervousness and whims of a child are not the result of their inept handling of a baby, but especially age-related changes.
  3. Enter the reward system. Set goals for the day. As soon as you successfully complete them, make yourself pleasant: buy delicacies, things, take more time to do your favorite work, etc.
  4. Don't shut yourself in. Communicate more. It is desirable not only with girlfriends. Discuss different questions: raising a child, a relationship with a husband (in general, without details), personal feelings, etc. In response, you will hear many tips, examples of how to do it and how not to.
  5. Find a babysitter. If relatives do not have the opportunity to help you in raising a child, a person offering their services for money will help you to get distracted. Babysitter can be found as a full-time week, and only for the weekend. If the first option gives access to the exit to work, the second - for your own holiday.
  6. Do not exaggerate. In the end, many women went through labor. And some - not once. Think about how you could give birth to a new person. And this can not cause depression on maternity leave.

Video: Life after childbirth: how not to go crazy

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Different points of view on the problem

To depression, which developed in the decree, the attitude in society is different. Most of the older generation are convinced that there is no such diagnosis, and with the symptoms of depression, young mothers cover up their laziness, unwillingness to do anything, and not readiness for responsibility and the restrictions imposed by the decree.

On the other hand, foreign researchers and specialists are extremely serious about this disease, considering that postpartum depression develops in every third woman on maternity leave, especially from 4 to 9 months.

The number of young mothers suffering from depression continues to increase, and this causes their well-founded concern and active search for ways to cope with the pathology.

As often happens, both points of view are fully justified and have the right to exist, and the situation with maternal depressions depends on how this condition is assessed and how it is related to it.

So, no one denies that earlier young mothers with such problems did not go to the doctors, this was simply not accepted, just as they were “putting up” family problems for general discussion. But women suffering from depression immediately or several months after the birth of a child were always and their percentage is not as small as it may seem.

Another reason for the smaller number of similar problems in women of the 19th and 20th centuries is completely different living conditions. A young family usually lived with their parents, sisters, brothers, and grandmothers of a husband or wife. In such an environment, the woman did not suffer from a lack of communication; she had other interests and responsibilities besides caring for the child.

Foreign psychologists have previously faced the problems of young mothers who are completely left to themselves and more often suffering from depression, and they also take into account the light degrees of the disease, which more or less pass most of the depressed women.

So, according to their own research, only every 10 women who have been diagnosed with depression symptoms need medical attention or antidepressants. 9 out of 10 is enough rest, attention and change of the situation and most women cope with the problems of apathy, bad mood and diminished activity arising during the period of child care.

Causes of development

Postpartum depression can develop due to:

  1. Hormonal imbalance is the main cause of the development of depression in young women. Sharp hormonal changes during pregnancy, childbirth, and feeding a child often cause various problems: from overweight to depression. It has also been proven that during pregnancy and childbirth, the amount of synthesized endorphins (happiness hormones) increases and a decrease in their level in the postpartum period can create a “lifting effect”.
  2. Physical and nervous exhaustion - the majority of young mothers in the first weeks and months of a child’s life are deficient in sleep, are very tired and are in constant stress. Lack of rest, physical and mental help lead to a general depletion of the body and can cause depression.
  3. Lack of vitamins and minerals - pregnancy and lactation causes a strong depletion of the female body. The lack of vitamins of group B, selenium, folic acid and other substances causes a disturbance in the work of the nervous system.
  4. Psychopathology. Pregnancy and childbirth can trigger the development of some mental illnesses, such as neurosis or schizophrenia. In this case, childbirth becomes a “triggering factor”, provoking the onset of symptoms of the disease, which previously could not manifest itself.
  5. Psychological causes: monotony, lack of self-realization, lack of communication, dissatisfaction with their appearance and other similar factors cause constant irritation. And the inability to change the situation, the lack of support and understanding from loved ones can aggravate the problem and cause depression.
  6. Psychological lack of readiness to become a mother - the personality characteristics of a woman, self-centeredness, infantilism or unwillingness to give birth to a child can cause psychological rejection and inability to accept the changed circumstances. If the young mother is unable to make a difference, she may develop depression.

More often than not, several of the above factors act on the patient at once, which greatly increases the risk of depression in young mothers. Most of them deal with the problem on their own, but parts of them require qualified medical assistance.

Suspected serious psychological problems can be on the following grounds:

  1. Increased anxiety - anxiety, inability to relax, rest, or leave the child at least for a short time - this condition often occurs at the onset of depression. Anxiety aggravates fear for the health of the child, his life or the thought that a woman does not cope with her duties, she is a bad mother and so on.
  2. Weeping. Constantly bad mood and frequent tears can indicate problems and incipient depression.
  3. Irritability is another characteristic symptom of onset. A woman is not happy, and the people around her cause a strong depression by their actions, demands, and statements. Depending on the nature of the patient and her relationship with others, irritation can cause aggression, reproaches, tears, quarrels, and so on.
  4. Constant fatigue - the strength of the young mother does not remain no matter what. She hardly performs the minimum of childcare activities, completely stopping to take care of herself, others or her home.
  5. Reluctance to make contact, refusal to help. In this state, the patient refuses to communicate with someone, does not ask for help, preferring to cope with their problems alone.
  6. Depression, lack of motivation - a woman who develops depression, no longer interested in anything. She refuses to leave the house, communicate with loved ones, do anything.
  7. Lack of interest in the child - a depressed mother may refuse to approach at all and care for her child or perform only a minimum of mandatory actions. Sometimes periods of indifference are replaced by periods of increased attention and care for the child, but such periods do not last long.
  8. Memory impairment In the midst of depression, the patient may have memory problems, the young mother forgets what she was going to do, what she said or did.
  9. Palpitations, headaches - in addition to behavioral and emotional disorders, postpartum depression is also manifested by physical symptoms. A general deterioration often causes patients and their families to seek medical help, but without a correct diagnosis, conventional therapeutic agents cannot help the patient.
  10. Disturbed sleep and appetite. The deterioration of the quality of sleep, poor appetite further aggravates the patient's condition.

The patient's condition depends on the form of depression and the severity of the condition. In most patients - 7 out of 10, depression is mild, without pronounced neurotic symptoms. Irritability, tearfulness and apathy disappear a few weeks or months after the onset of the disease and the woman's condition returns to normal.

But if the symptoms of depression do not disappear for 3 months or more or the symptoms of neurosis, delusional disorders and suicidal thoughts join them, then it is urgent to seek medical help.

Treatment of depression depends on the severity and severity of symptoms. In mild cases, home treatment is sufficient, and in more severe cases, drug treatment and psychotherapy are required.

It must be remembered that only a qualified specialist can correctly assess the patient's condition and prescribe the appropriate treatment.

Home treatment

Home treatment includes:

  • organization of the day and rest - while the child is sleeping, the mother must rest herself,
  • minimize physical and neuropsychic loads - during the period of treatment, you need to be as nervous and as little as possible to do housework,
  • daily walk in the fresh air,
  • use relaxation techniques - yoga, meditation, dancing, singing,
  • communication with people - you need to try to make new acquaintances, communicate more and not limit your contacts, and you need to communicate not only with young mothers, but also with people far from motherhood.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is considered one of the safest and most effective treatments for depression that has developed on maternity leave. For the treatment of depression, family psychotherapy, cognitive, placement techniques, humanistic, existential, narrative and body psychotherapy are used.

The author of the article: psychiatrist Shaimerdenova Dana Serikovna

Symptoms of depression on maternity leave

To suspect that the fleeting longing has already grown into depression, it is possible on the following grounds:

  • excessive irritability and nervousness,
  • constant drowsiness, persistent feeling of weakness,
  • the inability to experience the feeling of joy from the fact that earlier gave this emotion,
  • a woman considers herself a bad mother
  • feeling of lack of time, inability to perform all duties,
  • reduced emotional background.

Depression on maternity leave is total emotional exhaustion, when nothing around is happy. The husband becomes an uncomprehending person, playing with a child does not bring pleasure, and he himself behaves just disgustingly. A woman dreams of only one thing - about escaping from a tired house.

Prevention

In order to prevent the development of feelings of depression during maternity leave, it is necessary to adhere to some recommendations. Compliance with these simple tips will help avoid many problems:

Experts told about the features of somatized depression in our other publication.

If the depression in the decree is still not over, the help of a psychotherapist will be required. He will help to cope with the negative, will give good advice on overcoming the pathological state. The doctor is able to restore the emotional comfort of the woman, to form an internal defense against the negative.

Very rarely is treatment with elekroshoka. This method is used if depression is a direct threat to life, and the patient cannot take drugs.

As for the drug treatment, it comes down to taking antidepressants. These are serious drugs that only a doctor can prescribe. Independent reception of them under strict prohibition.

Depression on maternity leave is a condition that should not be ignored. It is necessary to share overwhelming feelings with loved ones, and this will be the first step in the fight against the approaching longing.

The course of treatment is also determined by the psychotherapist, as a rule, it is quite long and can be a year or more. It is important for the prevention of disease.

Another way to get rid of depression is to use aromatherapy. Essential oils, once in the blood through the skin, contribute to mood elevation.

To achieve this goal, you can take a bath with them, have a massage or just inhale. The greatest effect in this regard is rosemary, lemon balm and orange oil.

Husband help

Do not hide your condition from her husband and secretly blame him for dislike and inattention. For the mass of urgent affairs, he may simply not notice that something is happening with his wife, and if he notices, he often blames it on the banal PMS. Meanwhile, happiness should be returned to the family together.

This is what a husband can do:

  • try to understand the root causes of depression,
  • pay more attention to your wife
  • more often please a woman with presents, tell her nice things and compliments,
  • go on a journey together
  • take on some of the childcare responsibilities so that the woman can rest.

Many husbands perceive female depression as something that does not require special attention. In fact, it is often impossible to eliminate the problem only by increasing care; it is important to return the inner comfort to the wife.Therefore, one should not neglect the advice of professional psychologists.

Psychologist tips

  1. The husband should not remain indifferent in matters of raising a child. To do this, it is necessary to call him to a frank conversation, which should be held in a calm tone. It is possible to apply small tricks, for example, to say that joint activities will make the child more like his father.
  2. It is necessary to read the literature on the upbringing and development of children, even if a woman raises not the first child. In such books you can always learn something new for yourself, gain experience.
  3. It is necessary to comply with the reward system. That is, for each completed task, you need to thank yourself. At the same time, both tasks and incentives can be minimal (after the completion of cleaning, you can watch TV).
  4. It is important to communicate as much as possible.
  5. If there are no relatives who could unload the woman from the responsibilities of caring for the baby, then you can use the services of a nanny. It is not necessary to hire her for the whole week, it is enough for several days.
  6. Do not artificially create, and even more so, exaggerate the problem. It is important to realize that a great miracle happened, and life was granted to the new man. It can not cause depression.

Symptoms of prolonged depression can learn from here.

Here are the symptoms of anxiety depression.

Do not lose health

The period of child care is very stressful for a woman. And do not think that for 3 years the young mother will rest from work. Just the opposite: childcare is the very job, and it is very hard and hard.

How to get out of depression and how to prevent the development of chronic fatigue?

These tips will help young mothers:

  1. The condition of well-being and vigor is a dream during the day. We must try to sleep during the day when laying baby. This is the best rest for a tired organism.
  2. Before bed you can take a relaxing bath. She will remove negative emotions and set up a night rest. The sleep from this will be much stronger. It is recommended to add some sea salt or natural essential oils to the water.
  3. Be sure to go in for sports. Regular and not burdensome exercise will raise the tone and drive out depression. Be sure to make time for outdoor activities: they allow you to feel the physical and emotional lift.
  4. Reading is the best way to keep yourself busy at leisure.
  5. Depression in the decree will disappear if you regularly communicate with those who are dear. Spend a little time talking and see how your mood improves.
  6. Part of the responsibilities of child care can be redistributed, give her husband or grandmother. A young mother should devote at least an hour a day to rest. No need to be on other moms, as they are busy all the day raising a child and caring for him, because you have a completely different health.
  7. In no case can not resort to alcohol. It is not an antidepressant, and in most cases it only aggravates the problems.
  8. You should always set real and achievable goals. So you will not have the feeling that you can not cope with anything.
  9. You must be able to determine for yourself the so-called crisis point, after which you need to give up some things and rest. Otherwise, emotional exhaustion is inevitable.

It is necessary to accept the fact that rest, no matter how tense the schedule of the day, is necessary. After all, even the strongest body is not iron. It is necessary to find time for the most ordinary women's pleasures: a trip to the nail salon or a hairdresser, a massage, etc. Even a meeting in a cafe with friends can decorate endless vanity.

Variants of occupations

Decree is not only the time of child care. If a woman uses her time rationally, she can direct it to self-development, self-help, and other useful things. Naturally, in such a vacation there will be no place for despondency.

Here are the most suitable ways to occupy yourself with useful and enjoyable things:

  1. Easy and easy remote work. You can perform part of your job duties remotely, that is, at home. It is also a good way to make some money.
  2. You can think about a pleasant lesson in your free time. This is sewing, knitting, etc. Start your blog and fill it up: you never knew how interesting it was. The only thing that needs to be taken into account is the child’s daily routine. It is recommended to adapt exactly to its mode.
  3. Try to raise the intellectual level. Maternity leave is not a hindrance. Moreover, the time has come to improve some of their knowledge, to learn a foreign language.
  4. Why not master the course on maternity leave? This is used by some women. Having mastered the art of manicure, nails, etc., you can also make good money.
  5. Even an ordinary shopping trip can be turned into a small holiday. To do this, simply look more attentively at the range of goods, buy something pleasant. Even a small purchase can cheer up. And buying something for home improvement, you can upgrade it, which also helps to fight depression.
  6. Bright clothes can get rid of melancholy and improve mood. It is even better if the home will go in fun clothes: so you can arrange a holiday for all.
  7. Do not be shy to take someone's help. Moreover, it is necessary to forgive old insults and accept life as it is.
  8. Closing in on yourself is the worst that can be. Try to discuss urgent issues with friends and family: from this life will become brighter and more diverse.

In some cases, it is necessary to resort to medical treatment of depression during the decree.

It is shown only in extreme cases when other methods of exposure do not help. Self-treatment with antidepressants is by no means tolerated.

Antidepressants are quite potent drugs. Most of them are used only under strict control, since even a small excess of the dosage contributes to the occurrence of side effects.

Aromatherapy is a good and at the same time effective way to get rid of depression. Essential oils can be used in the bath. Once in the body, they contribute to the restoration of emotional balance, elevation of mood. Best of all, the selection of essential oils is carried out by a doctor: self-treatment with oils can be harmful in some cases. All oils should be used only natural: from artificial oil substitutes little sense. Essential oils of lavender, lemon balm, rosemary, and orange are best for the body.

So, depression during the period of care for a child is completely preventable and treatable. However, it is still better not to bring yourself to such a state.

Manifestations of depression on maternity leave

Every third woman has signs of depression on maternity leave:

  • increased anxiety
  • staying constantly in a bad mood and excessive tearfulness,
  • irritability,
  • constant fatigue
  • refusal to help
  • unwillingness to make contact,
  • depression and lack of motivation
  • interest in the child disappears,
  • memory deteriorates
  • cardiopalmus,
  • frequent headaches
  • sleep disturbance,
  • lack of appetite.

These symptoms indicate that the young mother begins to show depression. In most cases, the disorder is mild and does not require medical treatment; medication may be needed when the neurotic symptoms become severe.

If the symptoms of depression do not disappear within 3 months or if neurosis, mental disorder or suicidal thoughts are added to them, then a psychotherapist should be consulted as soon as possible. The doctor will assess the severity of the disease and prescribe a qualified treatment. Self-medication is excluded.

Depression treatment methods

There are various methods of getting rid of depression. In order to improve their condition, psychologists recommend:

  1. Rest with the child. After the baby fell asleep, the young mother also needs to go to bed. Daytime sleep will allow the body to rest, fatigue will not accumulate.
  2. Before a night's sleep, you should take a relaxing bath with the addition of sea salt or essential oils. This will help to remove negative emotions and tune in for a night rest.
  3. Regular exercise. This will help prevent the development of depression, raise the tone. It is recommended to play sports in the fresh air, which will improve the emotional state and provide physical activity.
  4. Reading. Do not deny yourself reading your favorite books or magazines.
  5. Communicate more with people. This will help to improve the mood and a little distract from the home routine.
  6. Walking without a child. At least 2 times a week you need to get out of the house without a child, which will allow you to relax and feel better.
  7. Separation of household duties. It is necessary to entrust part of the affairs to the spouse in order to avoid excessive loads on an already tired organism.
  8. Self-realization and self-development. It is necessary to find an occupation for the soul. For example, sign up for a manicure course or get a driver's license. This will help to feel full-fledged person.
  9. Involving a spouse in raising a child. You should not lay it on yourself. Coming home from work, the spouse can play with the baby, thereby giving his wife time to rest.

Advice to spouse and family members

Psychologists also advise spouses and family members:

  1. Interested in the health of the young mother. It is necessary to ask as often as possible about the woman’s well-being, maybe she doesn’t say anything because of the fear of becoming a burden.
  2. Take part of the household responsibilities for yourself. This will unload mom and give her some free time.
  3. To compliment.
  4. The spouse should not insist on sex. During this period, women are morally hard, and their requirements can only worsen the condition.
  5. Give pleasant surprises. Small joys will cheer up and give new strength.
  6. Do not say that the young mother does not get something. You just need to kindly help.
  7. Offer any help. Grandparents can sit with the child while his parents go to the cinema or cafe.

Raising children is a complex process that takes a lot of strength and energy. Depression that occurs during maternity leave is easily treatable. The main thing is to recognize it in time and start working on yourself.

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